Fishy affair
A Fishy affair
This happened a few decades back. When I was travelling by Hoogly express to Calcutta, a Bengali elderly man was sitting opposite to me in the compartment. And as is the case in train travel, after a sullen silence, we both broke our silence with a smile first and then with a curiosity. I am always poor in starting a conversation, much more so in continuing it. He was probably of an overt type unlike me and started the conversation with the usual question on such occasions. It went on as follows.
"Where are you up to?"
" i am going to Calcutta"
" Do you know Bengali?"
" I don't know. I am going there to attend a seminar. I will be there for just four days"
" But without knowing Bengali, you will find it very difficult to manage"
" I will spend most of my time there attending the seminar which is not held in Bengali but in English only and the rest of my time, I will be with my sister and her family, who are all there"
"So, your sister is in Calcutta. Then no problem. Still it is better if you learn Bengali to manage in Calcutta. It was not Kolkata at that time.
( after a pause)
Do you belong to Chennai?"
"Yes"
" I like Chennai. A nice place. Do you know Baijayanthimala?"
"What? Baijayanthimala? You mean Vaijayanthimala.
( no disrespect shown to Bengalis. As per Panini’s rule, v (வ) and b (ப) are interchangeable. So we say vangalam, they say Bangalam,Vivekananda/ Bibikananda, Vasu/ Basu and so on. So you replace the ‘ b’ sound above with ‘v’ sound. As a joke , we use to say “ bhy Mr Benkatraman, bhy are you balking in the berandah bithout bork. Replace the ‘b’ sound there with ‘v’ sound. It will read “ why, Mr vankatraman, why are you walking in the verandah without work?” So Vaijayanthimala becomes Baijayanthimala. No disrespect to Bengalis. Just a fun)
After a small pause
Yes. I know her. But she doesn't know me. I like her pictures and dances. She is very close to my house only"
He became closer to me with this introduction and said
" I am a great fan of Baijayanthimala. I would like to meet her when I come to Madras next time."
" but when you come to Madras, you better learn Tamil and come. Nobody knows Bengali there and most people do not also know Hindi"
"But I am going to stay there for a few days only. Just for the sake of my stay there for a few days, how can I learn Tamil?"
After a pause, he continued
"Now I understand why you ask me to learn Tamil. It is because I told you to learn Bengali while coming to Calcutta. Isn’t it?".
Then he introduced himself (as usual, I have forgotten his name) and said he was a Bengali brahmin and on his insistence, I had to apologetically admit to him that I am unfortunately a Brahmin belonging to Tamilnadu. He couldn't understand the irony behind it.
It was time for lunch. I ordered for my vegetarian lunch and asked him
" would you like to place an order for your lunch?"
" No. I have brought my lunch with me. I don't usually take meals outside, particularly during travel". He seemed to me to be a bit of an orthodox, conservative.
I got my railway vegetarian lunch in a plate. I started eating it. He also opened his lunch packet and just before eating, he took a small piece of something, put it on my plate and asked me to taste it. I wanted to know what that was, but he insisted
"Taste it."
On my further insistence, he said
"It is our delicacy. Home prepared. A fish......" ( I couldn't remember the name)
I was almost on the point of vomiting and controlled myself with very great difficulty and told him to kindly take it immediately from my plate, saying
" Sorry. I am a vegetarian. I don't eat fish or any non veg item"
" but fish is not non veg. We brahmins in Bengal take it as a veg only. You said you are a Brahmin"
" But we brahmins in Tamilnadu and for that matter in the whole of south, brahmins do not take fish. You please take it back."
" I am so sorry. Really sorry. I have spoiled your taste" saying this in a hurry he took it from my plate and needless to say I couldn't take my food anymore and without offending him and without his knowledge, I emptied my plate on the railway track.
After the lunch he continued
" sorry, sir for my action. I never knew that you don't like people eating fish. Is it?"
"No. It is not like that. I have nothing against people eating fish or any other non veg dish. So far as I am concerned, I am a strict vegetarian. I don't take fish. That is all. I have .nothing against fish nor against people taking fish. I do not like people with this one fish in them and that is being SELFISH. Of all things, this is the only one fish that I hate"
